Noisy Silence

I recently got to spend a very relaxing three days at the beach. I was able to simply “be.” What a gift! And during those few days I was able to enjoy some really meaningful conversations, some absolutely ridiculous moments, and also some very comfortable silence.

And in God’s wonderful sense of humor/timing, I have been hit with one of the most stressful work weeks of my time at CSC. Holding on the calm has been an exercise in self control and perspective…though not necessarily a bad one. And I truthfully don’t know if I have risen to the challenge or not. I certainly have been feeling like I dove (or was thrown) straight into the deep end. To those of you who know me better than others, you’ll know it’s been bad when I say that I have honestly been overwhelmed and stopped in my tracks.

Where am I going with this? Well, since my life is a musical, I’ve had the following stuck in my head for the better part of the last week:

Breathe on me breath of God. Love and life that makes me free. Breathe on me breath of God. Fan the flame within me. Teach my heart. Heal my soul. Speak the words that in Christ we know. Take me to your sanctuary. Breathe on me. (Probably because of the “sanctuary” part.)

*ahem* Also the lyrics “If you’re going through hell, keep on moving. Don’t slow down. If you’re scared don’t show it. You might get out before the Devil even knows you’re there.”…but that has less to do with the rest of the ramble.*

Comfortable silence. Just breathing.

I took a break from the stress and made time to go to 49 West with Christine to hear Kate sing some jazz music. It was delightfully reinvigorating to just sit and let the music swirl around me. I remember a Bible teacher somewhere in my education telling us that God has a funny way of redeeming the time when we carve time out of the craziness to be still and have quiet time with him. Now granted, my “quiet” time was full of sound, and I was around lots of people, but it in a bizarre way it was just me and Him in that coffee house that night.

The interesting thing about silence is that it can unearth as many questions as it answers. Between time at the beach and sitting in the coffee house, I can honestly say that I have been able to settle some things that have been bouncing crazily around in my head and at the same time discover things about myself that I didn’t know were there. But regardless of the answers or the questions, I have a renewed sense of camaraderie with my traveling buddy; and while I may not be entirely sure where the road is going, I’m ok with walking arm in arm with Him and enjoying the journey…regardless of how crazy the traffic may be at this particular moment.

After all, the trick to keeping one’s head above water is keeping one’s focus in the right place…right?

So here’s to finding a wee bit of silence, even in the deep end of the pool.