Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Zen

I’m holding onto it right now. After being slightly derailed all week (really the last two weeks…you can tell from my blogging silence), I was finally on schedule to get all caught up. For me, things usually reach a critical mass of chaos then something kicks in and, voila!...the pieces fall together and I’m somehow back on top.

Step 45 ½ in my catch-up plan was to be running right now while watching SYTYCD. So why am I being a lazy bum and blogging instead? Broken treadmill + dark, unfamiliar neighborhood = no nighttime run. So my 10-mile run will wait for tomorrow. *breathing deeply* But that’s ok. It’s completely in line with the rest of my day.

I love my yoga teacher. Before class, she checks with everyone to see if there are any physical things she should know about. But today, when I met her at the door and she asked how I was doing, I said…”Honestly, I’m a little frustrated today.” And she said to me, “Then there’s a great opportunity for growth.” And with that, the silver lining was found. Then, I promptly changed into my new NBP fitness shirt. Across the back it reads, "Suck it up and quit feeling sorry for yourself.” We had them made for the Baltimore running festival. Ironic right? *breathing deeply*

Back to my awesome yoga teacher. She said something a few weeks ago that really stuck with me. We were doing something challenging and she asked, in the middle of the challenge, “What do you appreciate about this pose?” At that precise moment, I was appreciating the fact that I wasn’t falling over. A few moments later, I appreciated coming out of the pose and “finding my greatest ease.” (Side note: When I first heard that phrase, I remember what my dad once told his jazz teacher. She coached him to “play what you feel.” To which he said, “I feel like resting” and sat through the rest of the song. [double side note: my snarky side obviously comes from my father.] …When I imagine "my greatest ease,” stretching out on a chaise with a good book comes to mind. Not balancing or twisting or contorting in ways that that are supposed to look graceful while being deceptively challenging. *breathing deeply*)

Where was I headed with all this? Ah yes. The gift of zen. Even though my schedule is twisting and contorting me into strange poses, requiring balance and core strength and more than a little concentration…I’m finding what I appreciate.

For example: I’m not running tonight. But I appreciate this quiet moment that’s allowing me to blog, finish some schoolwork, and catch up with a few other things. I appreciate the three cuddly dogs keeping me company. I appreciate that while time may be flying, I’m in the driver’s seat. And more than once over the past two weeks, I’ve been thankful for the roots that give me wings. More on that later…

*breathing deeply*

What are you appreciating today?

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