Friday, June 5, 2009

Kneading

A few nights ago I was in service and we sang this song:
I need Thee, oh, I need Thee
Oh I need Thee every hour
I need Thee, I need Thee, I need Thee every hour
I need Thee, I need Thee, I need Thee every hour

Admit it. You skimmed over those lines. And why wouldn’t you? They’re repetitive. But while I was singing them that night, I had this wonderful image pop into my head.

I need thee became “I knead thee.”

I pictured a grandmother with wispy hair and floured hands, showing a child how to work through a glob of dough. Of course, the child was a glorious mess of flour, sticky fingers, and grim determination.

Worship was kneading through me. Working out lumps in my attitude and mindset. Taking my impatience and wandering mind, and working through them to get to a conversation…getting to places where I’m not quite mixed through.

And as much as I felt like the dough, I also saw myself as the child. I have questions that I can’t answer. There are things that just don’t make sense to me. I have “lumps” in faith and in life that I am doing my best to work through.

But I think God was showing me that that’s part of the process. Kneading, working through, getting messy…and realizing that he’s right there like the watchful grandmother in my imagination.

I remember being little and wondering just how long I would have to stir brownie batter before it would become smooth. It amazed me that after what seemed like forever, when I had given up all hope, suddenly the lumps would be gone. Almost like the batter had skipped a step from totally lumpy to perfectly mixed.

Sometimes life is like that. I’ve experienced moments when it seems like everything just shifts and falls into place. And whether its my perception, understanding, or situation that shifted, moments like that are great.

But they don’t always come. So I found this picture incredibly encouraging. Because some lumps are tenacious. Sometimes, there really are questions that don’t have easy answers (or that have answers at all). But without the kneading (and resting…and more kneading), bread doesn’t turn out as it should.

So keep working through the lumps. Especially the stubborn ones.
And allow yourself to be worked through in return.

I need thee. I need thee. I need thee every hour.

2 comments:

  1. Sometimes I don't comment on your blog because your posts often leave me quite speechless. It's kind of like that with this one. But I wanted to make sure you knew that your blog touches me in a very special way. I'm blessed each time I read it. You just "get it" and then you share it so beautifully. Thank you...

    PS. I did skim over the first lines.
    : )
    But, after I finished reading I went back and read each word with only Him in mind!

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  2. I gotta say that this song was one of the ones that hit me the hardest at Nexus. Although lately I find that to be the norm. I hear the contemporary songs so often that when a hymn is thown in it just sort of makes you go whoa.

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